NOT ME by THE PORTUGAL WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER 

For a few photos at a wedding at Club Nau in Ferragudo, Portimão

• Pode ler este artigo em Português. 

A Curious Photographer on a Wedding Day

Moments of sharing. Being a very curious wedding photographer, I often find myself wondering what might be unphotographable at a wedding. One could argue that, since I’m there for that purpose, maybe there are no limits and that everyone will accept, without question, the presence of my lens—always eager to write with the light that passes through it, capturing yet another moment, like a collector’s net catching butterflies.

But it’s not like that. How many times have I aimed the lens, set for a tight close-up, only to feel the chosen person becoming aware of it and feeling uncomfortable? How many others have said to me, Not me, I’m not into photos, or Turn that thing the other way before I break your camera—a lighthearted and humorous way of telling me, “Not me.” The wedding photographer’s roaming, even if hired for the job, is not always a sign of unrestricted permission in any circumstance.

In the Shape of a Wedding Photograph

That’s why I always try to stay aware, never—even in the name of a photograph the wedding photographer may see as essential—taking someone with me who doesn’t want my company, even in the form of a photo. I’ll never forget that girl, at the second wedding I ever photographed, who didn’t allow me to photograph her all day, even though I tried.

In the end, as I was packing away the lenses for a bit of rest, she said, Now I want one. It was a lesson I never forgot. At the slightest sign of discomfort, my lenses learned to look for a new subject—what photographers call the thing they want to photograph. I never forgot.

Point by point:

• As a wedding photographer hired to cover a wedding, I questioned myself: What are my limits?
  • Is everything I think is photographable so?
  • No matter what the guests are doing?
  • Can I be curious and enter someone’s private space, even at a wedding?
  • Can I ignore a “no” to a photograph?
• It’s true that the attraction I feel toward subjects—in a wedding, the couple and their guests—sometimes blurs the line between what I should, can, and want to photograph.
• Of course, at a wedding, I must:
  • Respect the will of the person I wish to photograph
  • Be attentive to the slightest sign of discomfort or a “no.”
  • Know when to stop photographing
  • Respect each guest’s private space
• It might happen, once or twice, that I’ve photographed someone who didn’t wish to be. It’s not always easy to read the signs—but whenever I detect it, I always respect my subject. (A subject, for a photographer, is what or who they are photographing—or wish to photograph.)

You need to know:

• Although no bride and groom has ever asked me this, I don’t always photograph everything that happens at their wedding. From the couple, I have full permission—but their guests are not bound to that authorization.
• I must, not only as a photographer but as a person, respect everyone’s will. I always find someone at every wedding who has no desire to be photographed. And that’s their right.

Among all the things left unphotographed—of which there are many—the guests who express that wish won’t be part of the visual memories I’ll deliver to you. That’s exactly how it should be. Let’s set up a meeting to talk more about this and other things and of course to see more photos and wedding albums.